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GOLF TERMS EXPLAINED
A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Diego Maradona - a very nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Kate Moss - bit thin
A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional
A David Trimble - tentative prod
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Russell Grant - a fat iron
A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - got away with it
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good
runner
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver A Princess Di - shouldn't
have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you
A Ken Livingstone - quite far left
A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right
A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A circus tent - a BIG top
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target
A sister-in-law - up there but I know that I shouldn't be
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