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Bottle of
beer
The
batsman was having a bad time. He played and missed at every
ball and was becoming more hot and flusterred every minute. As
the bowler was walking back; the batsman turned to the
wicket-keeper.
'Phew,'
he said 'what couldn't I do with a bottle of beer.'
The wicket-keeper thought for a moment. 'Hit it with the bat?'
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My wife is ill
The dedicated batsman Coxy, was up against the fast
bowler and he was doing well. As he was getting
into his stride, a note was brought out to him
and the game was interrupted.
A frown creased his forehead as he read it, then
he called over the umpire.
"I say," he said, "I've just heard that my
wife's very ill and she's calling for me. Do you
think you could ask the bowler to shorten his
long run up?" |
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How I do it ?
The batsman had a large opinion of his prowess.
He was approached by a club member who couldn't
resist saying to him, 'You know, whenever I
watch you bat, I always wonder...'
'I know, I know. How I do it.'
'No. Why you do it.'
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You've seen worse ?
The nervous young batsman Alan
Brown, was
having a terrible time and was
lucky to still be at the crease.
During a lull in play, he stammered to
the wicket keeper Kev, 'Well, I
expect you've seen worse
players.'
Silence....
Coxy, at first slip added 'he said I
expect you've seen worse
players.'
'I heard him the first time.'
said Kev, 'I
was just trying to think.'
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Worst spell
In school, the sports master and
English teacher asked one of his
brighter pupils to spell
"bowling".
Back came the answer : "B-o-e-l-i-n."
"That," said he, "is the worst
spell of bowling I've ever
seen." |
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I'll open from this end
The village club was burdened
with a big-headed skipper.
Although a below average player,
he considered himself the best
in the side. They were up
against tough opposition and as
they walked out he said,
"Right. I'll open the bowling
from the pavilion end."
"That's right, skipper," said
the fast bowler. "You bowl 'em
in - then I'll come on bowl 'em
out."
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How's that
One of England's
fastest bowlers
was taking a
quiet stroll in
a little village
while on
holiday, when he
came upon a game
of cricket.
The visiting
team was one
player short and
invited the
great man not
knowing who he
was. The home
team was batting
first. Soon it
became evident
that the umpires
were more than
slightly in
favour of the
batsmen, when
several appeals
for catches
behind the
wicket and
leg-before were
turned down.
The visiting
captain, in
desperation, and
having used all
his bowlers
turned to our
friend. Barty
marked out a
short run-up and
came in and
bowled his first
delivery. The
batsman was
plumb in front
and was about to
move.
"Howzzaat!"
cried Barty. But
the umpire just
shook his head
in denial.
Bart, a little
miffed, came in
again, and there
was a loud noise
to be heard as
the batsman
nicked to the
keeper. But,
once again, to
the amazement of
the visitors,
their appeals
fell on deaf
ears.
Now, Bart was
livid. He marked
out his full
run-up, told the
keeper to step
further back and
came charging in
at full pace.
The batsman
never saw the
ball. All he did
see was his off
stump cart
wheeling out of
the ground.
Barty calmly
turned back from
his follow
through and
walked back to
the top of his
run-up.
On his way, as
he passed the
Umpire he
remarked, "We
nearly had him
there, didn't
we?"
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Do you have a team?
In a village pub, a traveller was talking with a local cricket supporter.
'Does your town boast a cricket team?' he asked.
'We don't boast; we endure,' was the gloomy reply.
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